Is It Worse To Be A Dork...Or An Idiot?

You know…because I’m generally a mean spirited person, I’ve always inwardly chuckled when I’ve seen folks riding their bikes with one of those cuffs their pant leg…or even worse…a rubber band. I mean…fashion first, right? Nothing cool about pegged pants, right?

I guess, though, that riding along with one pegged pant leg is preferable to riding along, innocently, and then realizing that your pants are being pulled down, because as you were riding, you didn’t realize that your baggy, too long for bike riding, loosey goosey exercise pants were getting wrapped around your pedal with every turn all the way down the road from your house. And then you realize that when you want to stop, and take your foot off the pedal, you won’t be able to…because your foot is wrapped up inside the pants that are wrapped repeatedly around the pedal. So…you screech to a stop and kind of topple your bike to the ground, and hop around on one foot, while you try to disentangle your pant leg. And it’s not working. And you come to a realization that you are either going to have to cut your pants off...or take your pants off…in the middle of the street…because you cannot get that freaking leg untangled from the pedal. And let’s face it…you’re not taking your pants off. You might swear a little bit. You might break into a cold sweat. You might call your friend who lives around the corner, to see if she can come with some sharp scissors and a non-judgmental smile. But she won’t have her phone with her. So…you’ll stand there. Hunched over, on one leg, while the other juts out in front of you…attached to a pedal. While people drive by and pretend not to notice that you’re the biggest idiot on the block. Or maybe they’re just used to you being the biggest idiot on the block.

Finally…a surge of adrenaline born from not-so-quiet desperation will allow you to rip your pants free…but not before you make a mental note that pegged pants aren’t the worst thing that could happen to a girl. Logically, you’ll realize that public humiliation will trump them every time.

Not that I’ll ever wear one of those dorky cuffs. I mean…seriously.