Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Big Brother


So...this morning our boss told us that we would be getting surveillance cameras in the halls and by the exits of the building, just for security. Fine. He showed me and another gal in the office where they'd be...and that was that. Then he left for Cheyenne for meetings.

So...this afternoon, the camera guys have been working away...and I looked in the corner of our office and discovered a camera on the ceiling there. I'm pretty sure it's NOT supposed to be there...but Lynn isn't here to ask, and the guy who installed it says that his boss told him to put it there. So I don't know. It's actually freaking me out a little bit. Not that I do anything "shameful" at my desk...but how many hilarious "clumsy girl falling" videos do surveillance cameras supply to youtube each year? Face it...I'm going to become one of those girls. Something is BOUND to happen...if there is a camera on me 100% of the time. It's like tempting fate to have it there. I predict that I will have a humiliating, pants splitting fall by the end of the year.

At the very least, I'm not allowed to pick my nose at my desk anymore. ; )

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

And...I've Resulted to Bathroom Humor to Get Through The Day

So...one of my favorite people at work is Jan, (actually her name is Janine, too!)whose office is across the hall from mine. There are many days that I think I would throw my hands in the air and give up if it weren't for her. She's just a fun person and she keeps me sane.

The other night, LCCC had our Christmas party and as it wasn't a "date" affair, more just a mixer and mingle type evening, I brought Kristi along. Usually I'm not a huge fan of company Christmas parties, but this year was the exception! Kristi and I sat with Jan, and Nycole (who works in Jan's office) joined us for part of the evening. The four of us were laughing SOO hard...(nothing is better than laughing/crying with a bunch of girlfriends!)...it was just the best.

At one point Jan told us a story of a friend who had a terrible gag reflex. She could NOT handle anything...barf, diapers, anything smelly or gross...it sent her over the edge. One morning she got up and looked across the room to see a huge pile of poop on the floor of her bedroom. Gagging uncontrollably, she ran to the bathroom and threw up. She didn't know what she was going to do...how would she be able to go in there and see the poop again? Who would clean it up for her? Finally...she mustered the courage and went back in her room to discover that instead of a pile of poop...it was her pantyhose! Needless to say...that we died. I haven't laughed that hard in SOOO long. Oh...good good GOOD times.

To show our appreciation for such a fun evening, Kristi and I picked up a present for Jan at Walmart over the weekend, and I left it on her chair this afternoon:


What can I say? That's what friends are for. :)

Friday, December 5, 2008

Merry Christmas Darling


Oh...it's finally, absolutely, inarguably, the CHRISTMAS SEASON. Man I love Christmas. It really IS the most wonderful time of the year. I love shopping for gifts for my friends and family...I love the lights...I love the music...I love the smells...and unlike a lot of people, I even love the crowds at the Mall! It's all part of my favorite time of the year, and I relish every second of it. :) And of course the true Spirit of Christmas is the most important thing. How cound anyone not be in a good mood when there are so many reminders this time of year of the greatest gift of all?

I have been listening to Christmas music in my office since before Thanksgiving, but it finally feels official now that December is underway and Laramie is covered in snow! I generally am not a fan of the white stuff, but it has really got me singing "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas" every time I look out my window. Hooray!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's Been A While...

So...in the spirit of my history with tanning rooms...

(if you don't know...hit the archive...)

...I thought I'd let you all know that if you happen to walk into Tanning Room #3 at Amazing Rayz in Laramie...and you're wondering who might have had the muscles and/or skills to completely break the industrial strength fan that is housed there...you should probably know that it was me. Um...I touched it. With one hand. And it immediately broke in half. Seriously...I need to lay off the steroids, I think...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Office Pool


So yeah...if you had 7 days and not one minute more in the "How Long Will It Be Before Janine Goes Back to Blonde" pool, you may collect your winnings now.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Rolling With the Changes


After getting super crazy and dying my hair, I took it to the next level and did something different with my nails, too. I have been doing glitter tips for a long time...but today...I got crazy and did TWO colors. I know...I'm going off the deep end.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Voting For Change?


So...in the spirit of Election Day, I voted for a change in my own life, and dyed my hair. Um...not so sure how I feel about it. I used to go all crazy and do a different color of the spectrum anytime I felt like it...but in my old age, I've got my rut pretty well established, and branching out was hard. I chose the color that is just a couple shades darker than what I usually do, but when I was waiting for the dye to develop, I looked into the mirror, and my whole head was DARK brown. I almost had a heart attack. Luckily it rinsed to pretty close to what I'd imagined...which I think is fairly close to my actual natural color. I'm totally undecided...but we'll see. When I got the new color, I got a box of my "usual" color...just in case I can only stand the "new me" for a couple of days. :)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Who Are You?


Well, Halloween is upon us, and Kristi, William and I are dressing up as the most elite of all crime solving teams...CSIs! I'm pretty excited, and think we are going to look sweet! I'll be sure to post pictures once we're all in our CSI garb.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Dirty Money


Just now a kid came in and paid his bill...which was over $2,500 dollars...all in cash. Over half of it was in bills smaller than a 20. You know I loved counting all that! Especially when some of the cash is stuck together...and I mean STUCK...with some unidentified brown substance. I didn't sniff it. I didn't swab it for trace. There are rare days when I'm glad I'm NOT a CSI.

Celebrities Without Makeup. Or...Janine.


I realize I haven't blogged in about 9 years...but really...I'm still alive. Sorry about that.

This past weekend I had to come up to Campus to let a group into the building for an all day meeting they were holding here. I had sent keys via our courier to the lady in charge, Arshi, but she didn't get them. Of course. So, she called me Friday night and I agreed to meet her at the building at 7:30.

For those of you who don't know...7:30 on a Saturday morning is NOT my best time. I basically rolled out of bed and washed my face. Then I put my glasses on and grabbed a hat to cover up my frizzy morning hair, and came on up.

I unlocked the building and met with Arshi, (who works in Cheyenne, so we don't see each other on a regular basis...this was actually the first time we'd spoken face to face) showing her around and blah blah blah. I told her I'd come back up around 5:30 to lock everything up again, and then I left.

I went home, showered, "put my face on," and did my hair. Nothing too fancy...just my regular regimen. At 5:15, when I came back up to Campus, I walked up to Arshi and saw ZERO recognition in her face. Seriously. She had no idea that I was the same person that had let her in.

I suppose it's a good thing to know that the time that I spend on my makeup and hair isn't wasted...apparently it DOES transform me into a brand new person. Knowing that I look like a mountain troll when I wake up, without having done those things, however, makes me wonder how I've kept any friends over the years of camping trips and slumber parties. :)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

New Shoes Bliss



Lest you think that Kristi is the only one in town who has darling feet, I just wanted to showcase a couple of new pairs of shoes that I got this past week. They are both Privos...the white ones are called the Privo Float, and the tan ones are called the Privo Comice. Well...that's what Privo calls them. I just call them super comfy and undeniably adorable! I love them both! And while both of them are regularly around 80 bucks a pair, I got them for $24.95 each! Super cute and undeniably adorable...AND a major steal!! Hooray!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Tropical Superstore

So...I was minding my own business, looking at shrimp trays in the frozen food section at Walmart, when I suddenly felt like I was wasting my day away in a tropical paradise. Huh? What?

Oh...this might explain it...there was a guy playing the ukulele as he was shopping 10 feet away from me. NOW it makes sense.


I'm pretty sure that he knew I was trying to get a picture of him, but he can't think I'm TOO crazy. I mean, HE was the one performing in the middle of Walmart...and a lot of people take pictures when they are at a free concert.

Sheesh...and I thought the CPR dummy was unsettling...

Monday, September 8, 2008

Seriously Freaking Me Out

So...I love myself a good scare, but today I almost had a genuine heart attack here at work. The copier had run out of paper...which is a common occurance, and I was hurrying down the hall to the storage room to get some more paper. When I opened the door, I was greeted by this guy:


Talk about giving me a freaking stroke!!! I think he's a new dummy for our EMT class...which is fine...but I've never seen him in there before, and he was RIGHT there in my face as soon as the door opened. I am glad nobody was in the hall with me, because I know that I physically jumped. AND...I made a little "freaked out" noise...that could not have sounded good.

Also, the other night, as I was leaving, I noticed the lights on in a classroom. I walked in, to make sure that nobody was in there, and as I knew that there weren't any other classes scheduled in the room that night, I switched off the lights. As soon as I switched them off...and pulled my hand away from the light switch...the lights came back on. The switch didn't move...but the lights came on. Weird, I know. I looked across the room and saw another set of light switches...and thought maybe it was some weird thing where they both had to be off to get the lights to go off. (But they DID go off. They just didn't STAY off.) Anyway...I went over to the other switches and turned them off. And...the lights immediately came back on. What the freaking crap?? It took me three tries, and some well chosen words under my breath (which I'm sure did nothing for my efforts, but they at least made me feel better) to get the lights to stay off. To this day I don't know what was going on...I've never had anything like that happen in any of our rooms ever. And nobody has told me of it happening to them, either. WEIRD. I'm pretty sure it was the ghost of an Underappreciated Admin Assistant of yore...trying to tell me that I'm not alone. ; )

Anyway...it's not even October yet...the official "scary" time of the year. I can't imagine what weird/freaky things are in store for me next month!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Pity Party and A Really Good Friend


So...I try not to be a big emotional boob, but for those of you who know me...you know that sometimes, I just can't help it. This week has been super stressful, and this afternoon it all really caught up to me.

Earlier this week, we had this huge meeting on Campus. All of the Board of Trustees came over from Cheyenne...along with the President, and the Vice Presidents. We had a dinner meeting with them, and my boss gave a big presentation on our Campus' Master Plan. For over a month, I have been meeting with him and a couple others in the office to perfect the Plan...(my main function was copy editing, but we all brainstormed together to get the presentation together)...and it's been kind of stressful. On the day of the meeting, we were all running around like crazy, trying to get things together. I had to run to Walmart at the last minute to get mugs and other stuff for the meeting...so that everything was perfect. Long story short, it's been a lot of work for all of us. On top of all of this, I have been handling "beginning of the semester craziness," including rescheduling and moving classes...directing students and instructors in the right direction...getting supplies...taking payments...non-stop...and ALSO, working tirelessly on the Spring 2009 schedule, only to find out yesterday that the Summer and Fall schedules are due in the next two months. Bottom line...I'm tapped out. I like my job...but some days...it just feels like it's TOO MUCH!

Anyway...the meeting on Wednesday went really well...I thought the presentation went well, and it was just good. I was happy. All the hard work paid off. Hooray! So...there are three office staff members in my office. Lynnette and I are both Admin Assistants, and Karin is an Office Assistant. This afternoon, a florist arrived with two vases of flowers. One vase for Lynnette, and one for Karin. They were sent from the Admin Assistant to the President in Cheyenne...in recognition of their hard work.

Um...what??? I don't want to sound whiney, or sound like I toot my own horn, but my GOSH!!! I have been working SO hard lately. Not just on that meeting, but on everything!!! Talk about a gut punch. Everyone in the office felt really awkward...it was obvious...and I ended up in the bathroom crying. Then, when I got back to my desk, my boss came out, having found out what had happened, to tell me how much he appreciates me...and I ended up crying some more at my desk. What a baby I am!!

I'm not generally the kind of girl who HAS to have constant praise to function...but when everyone gets praised EXCEPT me...I'm not going to lie. It hurt my feelings. It just makes it feel like everything I do goes unappreciated...at least by the "big wigs." It shouldn't matter...and I'm over it now...but you know...that was my afternoon.

In the midst of all this, I got a text from Kristi, who I had emailed my frustrations to, and she said, "I promise...More people appreciate you than you realize." It was just a really nice text...and made me feel better. The people in life that MATTER love me. I just need to focus on that. I'm so lucky to have her as a friend...I probably don't tell her that enough...but I am so grateful for her! Thanks, Kristi!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Random Act of Kindness

So...this morning I woke up and for some reason, I'm just feeling grouchy. I don't really know what my deal is...but I'm sure you know what i mean...we all have those days, right? I kept thinking...something nice better happen today...just to make it worthwhile!!

Well, I got to work and found a Luigi on my desk.


It's not really a secret that I love the movie Cars, and I have a collection of the little die-cast versions of little guys on my top shelf at work. This Luigi is bigger than my collection Cars, and he's plastic, but he's STILL adorable. And Luigi happens to be my favorite of all the Cars, so that makes him even cuter.

Nobody at work will admit to bringing him in. It was most likely a teacher from last night...but the point is that it totally made me smile. I'm still grouchy about some aspects of my day...but the Little Luigi did wonders for my overall mood! Hooray for nice people!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

They're Coming Back to the Arena

For those of you who have known me for any amount of time, you know that Wyoming Cowboy Athletics hold a special place in my heart. From the time that I was very little, I was trained up to love and cheer for the Brown & Gold…growing up in a college town makes it inevitable.

When I was a teenager, my love for Cowboy Basketball outweighed my love of pretty much everything else. Whether or not this has anything to do with a crush that I may or may not have had on a player who may or may not have played for them…is yet to be determined. There are some ongoing studies…I’ll keep you posted on the results.

Anyway…the point is that I recently learned that next month former Cowboy Basketball players from several decades will convene in Laramie and will play a reunion game. Although I can’t say that I watched all of the slated players in their prime, there are several of them who were my heroes of heroes in my youth. Theo Ratliff anyone? Reginald Slater? Roman Totta? Sadly Dean Noseep isn’t going to make it…but I guess you can’t have it all. I can’t wait to see them in action again!

Wow…I thought I was excited about the New Kids on the Block Reunion, but I think this might even trump NKOTB! If only they could get the New Kids to come and do the halftime show, I’d be in Memory Lane Heaven!!



Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Work Is Crazy...In More Ways Than One...

So...it's the beginning of Fall semester in Laramie, and things are crazier than they've ever been. Our enrollment here on Campus is up almost 30% from this time last year...and I am totally feeling the overpopulation. Folks are just coming out of the woodwork. I really don't even know what that means...but if it means that my office hasn't seen a moment's worth of peace for about 3 weeks solid...then yeah...it applies. Anyway...I think that if people spend too much time in the woodwork...and then come out of it...to talk to me...the woodwork has done something to their brains.

For those of you who have never been to Laramie...it's not THAT big of a town. I mean, we have what we need, it's not some hillbilly back-woods hole in the ground, but...you know, you could get from one side of town to the other in 10 minutes or so. Not so huge. LCCC is located just off of Grand Avenue...which, if you live in Laramie, you know where Grand Avenue is...if nothing else. AND...we're right by Wal-Mart...and if you're alive, I'm pretty sure you know where Wal-Mart is. I'm horrible with directions, and I can usually find my way around. It's not that tough of a deal. Anyway...I just got off the phone with a new student, who has her first class at LCCC tonight. She asked me, number one, which level of the building her class was on. (We only have a one level building) Then, she also needed the physical address of the campus, so she could mapquest her way here. Um...seriously? I can't even imagine what city she thinks she lives in...because the directions to the campus are "Head east on Grand. Turn on the road before Walmart. Ta-da...there we are." It'd kind of be like mapquesting your way from the Deli to the Produce Section at the grocery store. In the time it took you to type in the coordinates, you could have already found your destination...just by wandering in the right direction. (UPDATE: As I was typing this blog, the lady called me back to say that our address doesn't exist on mapquest. I LOVE IT! So, I gave her the two part instructions. I hope she can figure them out.)

In addition...Mitch, who works over in Advising, just told me that when he went into the bathroom, he found an old man, "with huge buck teeth" (it really does create a better visual if I throw that in there) doing chin-ups on the beam that connects the two stalls. When Mitch asked him to stop doing said chin-ups, as our bathroom stall beams are not built to support excessive chin-up usage. He was apparently surprised, and expressed what an unusual request it was...to ask him to stop. Yeah...what were we thinking? Then, after being obnoxious for a while, he demanded that Mitch tell him where he could find a chin-up bar outside of the building. I'm not sure where Mitch told him to go...but he might try using mapquest to find his way.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Tanning Room Catastrophes, Take Three. And Four.


Yesterday I went tanning. Really…the fact that I’m blogging about it…should tip you off that it wasn’t such a stellar experience. I mean, honestly…how many bad things can happen to a girl in a freaking tanning room? I really can’t blame all of my woes on tanning…but the fact that so many of my woes occur in those rooms…just makes me wonder. Or…maybe it’s a sign that I spend far too much time in tanning rooms. Who knows? Sigh…

Anyway…I was getting ready to tan. I was taking off my shoes when I felt a snap.

OH MY GOSH!!! The elastic broke on my shoe…rendering that strap totally useless. Are you kidding me? These are my freaking 120 dollar Danskos we’re talking about. Don’t you think that if you are paying 120 dollars for a pair of shoes that the effing elastic should hold its own?? I think I’d be less angry if it had been the buckle that had broken or something…because I feel like I could get that fixed. Maybe I can get the elastic fixed…but WHAT IF I CAN’T????? I’m going to be so so mad.

After the initial shock of having a disabled shoe, I continued getting ready to tan, and I heard the distinct clinking sound you hear when something metal falls on the floor. Looking around, I couldn’t see what it might have been…there was nothing on the floor. Reaching up, however, I found that the dangly heart thingy had come off of one of my favorite dangly heart thingy earrings.

OH MY GOSH!!! I looked and looked and couldn’t find it anywhere. I’m sure it’s underneath the tanning bed. Of course I wasn’t going to try to retrieve it…we all know what happens when I try to fetch things from uncompromising places in tanning rooms.

So…the moral of the story is…I’ve got a crippled shoe and half an earring. I’m sure you don’t care…but I’m totally depressed.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Now I'm Going To Have the Creepy Crawlies All Day...

So basically I kind of like to consider myself to be a tough broad. You know, I'm not afraid to get dirty, and although I DO like to wear makeup and have my hair done, I'm not one of the girls who stands in the bathroom at Bear Lake for 3 hours fixing her hair for a night of flirting with the hot guys at the next camp site over. This might be because we didn't have any hot guys at the next camp site over from us...(there was a pair of questionable girls that made William uncomfortable)...but still...I'm not one of THOSE girls.

Anyway, in spite of my rugged exterior, there are a FEW things that freak me out...and near the top of that list...nasty gross spiders. Probably the only thing that is worse to me is a bee of any shape or form. But spiders...not cool. Not that I've ever been a fan of them...but I think my skittishness increased 38 fold when we had wolf spiders in our house in Utah. Oh my crap...those things are the DEVIL!!! They are huge, and scary looking...and freaking FAST. Oh how I hate them. Especially since one morning I woke up and, when I grabbed my cell phone to see what time it was, squished one as it was strolling across my keypad. WITH MY BARE HAND. BARF BARF BARF. I still get the chills whenever I think about it too much.

The point of the story is that today in the bathroom...I had a visitor in my stall. And he WASN'T little. I haven't seen that big of a spider...that close to me...since I scraped that rodent sized one off my hand back in Salt Lake. Fortunately I avoided having a heart attack...but it was close. WHAT the crap was this creep doing inside the College? Freaking jerk.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Random Summer Fun

So I was just going through my camera and found some pictures that I must have taken when I was not in blogging mode. So...here are some pictures of some of my fun nieces when they visited us here in Laramie...






Man I'm So Boring...But I Did Go To The Lake!

So I've had some complaints...("some" being one from Sharon)...I haven't been blogging a lot. I wish that I could say that I've been so busy or caught up in such exciting things...but in actuality...I just haven't had a lot to say. I get it...I'm lame.

This past weekend, actually, I did get to go to Bear Lake and had a great time with great friends. Kristi, William and I drove over and met Lacy, Val, Sarah and Sarah's kids, Sam and Emily. So much fun to spend time chatting and laughing like old times! Our campsite was pretty nice, not too crowded, and maybe best of all...had flushing toilets and showers. There is nothing quite as lovely as "roughing it" without having to smell like you're "roughing it." Also, without having to smell anyone else's...anything. =)

My camera was never in the right place at the right time...(I kept putting it in the wrong bag)...so I didn't get many pictures...but here are a few from the trip.


The Lake That I Love


William...going to give the whale/dolphin/floatie a try...


Nothing compares to a Bear Lake Pedicure...


Me and Emily. I really wanted to take her home with me!!


Friday, July 25, 2008

Josie!

My oldest niece, Josie, arrived today for her yearly week's visit. That girl makes me laugh so hard...I can't wait to hang out with her! Woohoo! I hear person after person say that she reminds them so much of me...but I really have to beg to differ. She's way cooler. ; )

Monday, July 21, 2008

Those Little Rascals...(and Taylor!)

Yes…the day finally came! I feel like Kristi and I have been planning this trip to Cheyenne for about nine years…it seems like forever ago that we bought our tickets! Finally, though…July 19th arrived, and we were on our way to see Taylor Swift and Rascal Flatts in concert! Woohoo!!

We got to Cheyenne fairly early, and did a little shopping…(who can resist a little out of town shopping when you get the chance?)…and then headed over to Frontier Park. We had brought extra cash to pay for parking, but were lucky enough to get a spot on the street right across from the Park, which was awesome.

We wandered around the Park for a while, which was fine…but I think Disneyland has spoiled us. I used to be fairly impressed with the Midway and Carnival at Frontier Park…but this year…it didn’t do that much for me. I mean…it’s just not the Magic Kingdom, you know? Oh well…we weren’t there to ride the Zipper…we were there for some SWEET concert action!

After waiting for what seemed like WAY too long, they finally let us in to the stadium. Our seats were really good, and the concert was GREAT. Taylor did a great job…I can’t even imagine being 18 and writing songs like she does and being on a major tour! I think she’s adorable and I love her music.There was a group of girls behind us that I honestly think were going to have heart attacks at every mention of her name. Honestly…they LOVE themselves some Taylor Swift. Once Taylor finished, in fact, they didn’t even stay for Rascal Flatts…who were the headliners! Crazy! I mean, I really loved Taylor…but even if she was the main attraction for me, I would have stayed for the rest…I mean…they’d already paid to be there, right? Oh well…I guess it didn’t really matter to me…

Rascal Flatts was everything I hoped they’d be. Lots of fun…great entertainers…and of course…their music is FABULOUS!!! At one point, Joe Don looked straight at me, pointed with his guitar, and winked. Because he has a crush on me, I’m pretty sure. I mean…he actually looked straight into the camera that was feeding to the big screen, pointed his guitar, and winked…but you KNOW he only did it because he knew that I would be watching. If I weren’t so against home-wrecking, I might be tempted to entertain his obvious obsession with me…but alas…I’m going to ignore his advances and encourage him to stay with his Playboy Bunny wife and new son. I’m just pro-family like that.

Anyway…long story short…(I mean, I can only go on so long about how good the show was)…it was a GREAT night...I had a ball! Hooray for great country music!! Woohoo!

Saturday Fun

Well, it’s Monday which is usually a bummer, but I had a really good weekend, so that makes it a little easier to take!

On Saturday, Kristi and I got Tyler, Marcus and Nicolas together to play. For some reason, I didn’t take any real pictures…but I was video-ing up a storm. SO not like me…but what can you do? Anyway, the boys had fun jumping on the trampoline together, and outdid each other with their cool tricks!

video

Then we went to the church to play basketball, but mostly ended up just roughhousing around! You know how little boys are! Any prop they can find…turns into something fun.

Marcus decided to give Nicolas a ride on a “tow rope” that they found…(it was actually an old piece of volleyball net)…

video

But when Nicolas tried to return the favor for both Marcus AND Tyler…he had a few problems…

video

After wearing ourselves out in the gym, we all went out to lunch, and the boys had fun with the new Transformers toys from their Happy Meals.

As much fun as we were all having, we had to call the “play time” to an end, as Tyler had visitors to see at home, and Kristi and I had to depart for our next adventure…Cheyenne Frontier Days! (Stay tuned for that report, later today!)

Friday, July 18, 2008

Freaky Friday

When I got into my car this morning, I noticed an ambulance, lights flashing, in the middle of the next intersection on Mitchell.

As I was approaching, I realized that there was nobody bustling around…and thought, “Oh…they must be in the house…” I am a total rubber necker, I think…I just WANT to know what was going on. I know the lady who lives in that house. Is she okay? Is her husband? What’s happening??? There were no clues, though…and I was left wondering.

It was in the middle of my wondering that I glanced to the right and noticed the bike in the tree.

Now, you would think, that if, at an intersection, there is an ambulance with lights flashing, and a bike up in the middle of a tree…that maybe those two things might be related. I mean…how many weird things can be going on in one intersection at the same time without them having SOMETHING in common? Who knows?

Unless the ambulance driver and an airborne cyclist decided to meet my up the street neighbor for some morning coffee, I have no explanation.

Late Arrival

I was up way too late last night, waiting for my parents to get home from San Diego. They originally weren’t going to even be home until 11:00-ish, but after discovering a flat tire when they got to the parking lot, they were delayed a bit longer. Ordinarily I would be okay to go to bed…I’m not a “worry and stay up” type of gal. I’m a “man I love sleeping” type of girl. I had to stay up, though, because they were bringing a couple of stowaways back with them. Marcus and Nicolas are here for a visit, and I couldn’t resist the idea of getting some hugs before I went to bed. So…I’m really tired today…but it was worth it to get some loves from those Coca boys!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

And I Thought One Tanning Room Mishap Was Enough

I’m pretty sure my life would be a lot easier if I weren’t so vain. You know…I wouldn’t have to do my hair, or put makeup on in the morning. I could sleep for, like, 45 extra minutes every day. That would be the life! Except that I AM vain, and frankly…I wouldn’t let myself leave the house…ever…if I didn’t “fix myself up” every day. I guess that would allow me to sleep for, like, 24 extra hours every day...but, you know…I’m sure I’d get sick of excessive sleep and relaxation eventually. Like…ten years from now.

It is my vanity that leads me to tan several times a week. We’ve talked about my tanning love before. We’ve talked about the potentially humiliating positions said love has put me in. I don’t think that any bad tanning experience will EVER rival my original bad tanning experience, (in case you missed it, read about it here) I think that the cosmos are working to make sure that every once in a while I rue the day that I discovered the glorious effects of a sun bed.

Today I was getting ready to tan, and I set my pants on the chair next to the bed. See, I’ve learned a thing or two, I didn’t set anything on the top of the bed anymore! Anyway…I brushed against said chair and my pants slid off. No biggie…it’s not like I’ve never thrown a pair of my pants on the floor before. So…I finished putting my lotion on, and then reached down to grab my pants so they wouldn’t get wrinkled.

Instead of coming effortlessly off of the floor, however, my pants resisted. Knowing that pants don’t generally have a mind of their own, I leaned down for further inspection. I thought maybe the chair leg was on them or something. Not sure how I thought that might have happened…but you know…what else are you going to think? I don’t know…maybe you’d think that somehow your pants got entangled INSIDE the freaking fan that is sitting by the chair. If you would think that...you'd be right.

I don’t even know how it happened….but my pants were sucked inside the fan. Mostly they slid right out…except for the button…which had decided it was too big to slide through the bars. Um…so HOW in the crap did the button get through the bars in the first place? I DON’T KNOW! At first I thought it was just kind of funny. "Oh, the crazy things that happen to Janine in the tanning room." I even took a picture to send to my friends:

Of course, I thought it was funny because you’d think it wouldn’t be that hard to get the freaking button flush with my pants to pull it out the other way…but it was NOT happening. Like, the little fan bars are spaced too close together for me to get my finger through to press the button up against the rest of the cloth…so it just kept catching when I tried to pull it out. When I would release the pressure, it would sort of relax itself, almost fully against the material…but then as soon as I tried to ease it out…it would flip around again. I wanted to scream! What the freaking crap???

Of course my “get ready” time expired and my tanning bed came on. I considered just getting in the bed, but I didn’t want to have to wrestle with the freaking fan AFTER my tan…because I already have a reputation down there for taking forever and making ridiculously loud noises after tanning. So…the death-match with the fan was on, in the glow of ultra-violet light. I was totally stressing out because my tanning minutes were ebbing away, and I couldn’t get my freaking button out of the fan. I don’t pay for my monthly membership to get second hand rays from a bed that I’m not even in! ARGH!!!

Finally…after about 5 minutes of my tanning time had passed, I got the button out. I felt like punching my pants in the face, but they don't have a face, and I didn’t have time. I desperately hurried into the bed to get the most out of my remaining time…but I can TOTALLY tell that I’m 5 minutes less tan than I should be. : (

I’m starting to think that I need to just start tanning fully clothed in order to avoid clothing mishaps in the tanning room. I’ve already left the room with soaking wet arm pits…like a soggy butt and sweaty back would be any worse. At least I would keep all of my clothes under my control at all times.